Me: “Olivia, I can’t hear you, is this an emergency?”
Olivia: “YES! My sleep mask fell in the toilet!”
Me: “Did you get it out or flush it?”
Olivia: “No, I got it.”
Me: “Well, put it in the sink. Did it fall in before or after you went to the bathroom?”
Olivia: “I already put it in the sink. I don’t know when it fell off – it was just in there when I stood up!”
Can I go back to bed? I am NOT ready for parenting.
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